I’m realizing that this is my life, these things that I do and things that happen will continue to happen until my demise. Geez.
I haven’t posted in a really long time, not because you’re ugly. I actually have over 30 drafts of witty things, several titled with the time I was writing but I just wasn’t feeling it. As though I wasn’t proud of it, I’m proud of the content I write. You guys are literally feeding into my narcissism just my telling me that I’m funny (That will relate later).
Here are things that have happened since my dad ran over my toe.
- I found out that Dirty Dancing (My favorite movie) has come out with a 30th anniversary pack filled with useless trinkets that I, of course, believe are essential to have. It’s about 60 bucks which sucks (Ah, I’m rhyming. I feel like the version of Edgar Allen Poe that smiles.) Also, ABC is having a remake of the film on the 24th and the open minded part of me is like “Watch it!” and the other part of me is like “NO! In fact, cancel cable. Remakes are awful. This is disrespect.” Granted I’m stubborn so you’ll catch me protesting the remake be shut down.
2. I got a checkered pair of vans, people have since discovered that my feet stretch longer than the Himalayan Mountains. If you don’t know what the Himalayans are, I suggest going outside some more.
3. Mottai-Nai. JEsUS. I mention all the time how I blow up ramen for sport I don’t know how I was gonna make something good. Also, most of my clothes and items are more thrifted, reused so how do I keep the cycle going???
4. I went into hell, stepped out, went back in, left, and intend on never coming back. MY SCHOOL IS THE EQUIVALENT OF THE INFERNO. Stairway to heaven, more like graceful descend to pits of hell. At the same time, it’s not that bad. In 99 degree weather you will still find me sleeping with a heavy cover and a long sleeve, no sweating or anything. My body just adapts well. As of now, I can’t tell if it’s literal heat waves from the guy himself, the sun, or the kid that sits next to me in choir, who never shuts up.
5. I watched a kids tv program. It is known for comedy but I couldn’t even crack a generous smile. It was so painful to listen to the jokes. In the episode, one of the main characters gets a gig in a comedy club in hopes of a comedy career so there is a scene of him “being a comedian” (?) and I was just ??? Then I realized these jokes aren’t real, hopefully they’re all scripted, and this kid can genuinely do better than this. I feel bad mentioning this but Diary of a wimpy kid books are actually pretty funny ahahahah.
6. I absolutely idolize this man, Steve Lacy. I can go on and on about how kickass he is as a musician and as a person. So much so the thought of him makes me cry. Oh here come the waterworks. He was in New York yesterday at an Apple store with fans and people interested in how he makes his music through Garageband which is phenomenal. Sadly, I couldn’t be there, I was drinking out of a fishbowl.
7. I went to 7 Eleven’s Bring your own cup day with a fish bowl. Was I called a genius? Yes. Do I think I’m a genius? Judging on how I misspelled genius both times writing it, I’ll get there.
Bonus tales for the lifeless :
- I got a 99 on a math quiz I took on Friday, with doing little math at all. I do quizzes backwards and realized a pattern on the last page which included all the answers needed for the rest of it. Now that I think about it, I am a genius. Then again, the teacher was probably lazy. When I told people about it, their faces made O’s.
2. Speaking of O’s, I asked someone to RKO my mom. We got into a huge fight Friday morning over my sister (A whole other blog post, more like a rant). See, she’s a trombone player. So they were taking an end of year trip to Six Flags. My mom suggested for her to come with us to drop me off and go straight to her school .But, my mom waits for no one. Anie was literally out the door and my mom goes “Too slow!” followed by the SKKKRRRTTT of the gas. I hate when my mom does that, it happened last week I was out the door to go to the gym and she LEFT. I spent the next hour crying and deciding whether I should run away or not. Anyways, she decided to stop by McDonalds for food.
She bought me food but I couldn’t even look at her. I was literally texting my sister to start running to school because there was no way she was gonna make it on my mom’s clock. Right after eating she gets a text from her friend to pick her up at the train station. You see where this is going. We fought. We fought. I argued. She even went “Angie, enough.” Which is rare, also a boundary line. ahagahah but I let out one : “What are you gonna do? Push me out the car?!?!?” before realizing I’m 3,000 miles past the no cross line with my mother. We even fought during school hours where my mom answers in vague Yes or No without giving direction to a certain answer. So she made it seem like Stephanie never made it (She did), which made me infuriated, telling her she made me angry, which followed with a “K. :)” WHY THE SMILEY DAMNIT PATRICIA. Followed that by “You must respect your mother that’s the first commandment in the bible.”
Fellas, there’s so much more but I’ll save that for another day. I’ve come to realize that these misadventures occur because I let them happen, am I gonna ever stop that? Nope. Wouldn’t trade it for the world. A little part of me wonders how I’m gonna get through a lifetime of these. Until next time,
L8r dudes 🙂