How am I supposed to Adult? 

 

I’ve been MIA for sometime now, I’m back. You see, I find it difficult to meet the blog deadlines since I simply cannot force the inspiration to write. Also, on this post I will be using “tags” to gain an audience so it’s hard to find something EVERYONE (anyone) can relate to.

So I have this fear, of becoming an adult. Can you imagine? Me, an adult. It gets worse when I imagine everyone I know as an adult too. I’m 14. I’m a baby. Yet somehow I crave feeling independent. Just the other day I learned how to use the self checkout at Stop & Shop and to be honest, I have never felt so proud of myself. I’m going to (legally) become an adult in less than 4 years. I met the halfway mark when I was still struggling with long division.

I am always asked where I see myself in the future but in reality, I can’t imagine myself with one. Of course I want one, I just haven’t found anything suited for me. Then again, I’m a baby. I ask myself at times if I will skeet away through life with this feeling. I will always have a future, a tomorrow, another minute even and it’s always going to be uncertain.

I tend to listen to music and dance whilst doing my makeup, today a podcast by one of the biggest influences on my life, and she was discussing how she saw a man and a child walking. The child was laughing and skipping, the man was stiff and steady strolling through the sidewalk. She was amazed to see that, that man, was once skipping and laughing the same way she was.

Another thing I think about, my story. Every chance that speeds by us, is gone. We will wait until the next one. For example, the friends that I have now, I can’t go back and change anything (not that I would). They have already been engraved into my storybook. The first time watching my favorite movie, I will never love it more than the first time. The first time I met my friends, I won’t feel that way with them again.

Granted, thinking about the people I know now in the future is scarier. These high school classmates will be different in 10 years. That goofball in math class, he becomes an accountant. Everyone will be so unrecognizable, wow. On the bright side, we can laugh at who we used to be (who we are now). We can also quake at ourselves being the people we said we will never become.

Live in the moment because you truly do live once.
L8r dudes !

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