This is worldwide ! 


To Note : The pictures used throughout this post are all mine. 

Yes, I am alive in the blogosphere. If you know me personally, get ready to hear my voice yodeling these witty remarks for the last time of the year.

Anyways, it’s been a whirlwind of a week since I hopped into a plane and travelled back to my family’s native country of Honduras. The adventure on the plane was certainly different. I had to fly first class being a minor with my sister so they gave us MEALS I couldn’t even finish. Mountains of salmon (A vegetarian dream) and some frisky fruit which pleasured me as I watched suicide squad for the first time. Picture this : Zooming at who knows how many miles in the blooming sky, observing and absorbing all that the little specs of your eyes can get a grasp on, and at first glance, mistaking clouds, as city skyscrapers before reality sets in. 

The first morning I was here, I called it home for some odd reason. Maybe it’s the colorful houses that scream my aesthetic or the people running and hollering down the street. This sounds weird, but geez this place is so different than where my real house is, down to the orange juice. The orange juice here tastes good, like back at home, but it tastes like real oranges. For a good hour, I was questioning us (we North Americans). If this is what real natural is, what are brands such as Tropicana or Florida “naturals” providing us? Are these chemicals and flavoring substituting how it’s supposed to be? Come to think of it, ORANGE JUICE DOESNT EVEN TASTE LIKE ORANGES BACK IN CONNECTICUT. As my friend said once, “Wake up America!” 

Besides that, I’ve counted all the mosquito bites I have on my precious body, the grand total came down to a whopping 54. Also, I referred to by body as precious simply because I have to cherish it, I, with the 54 bites has come to realize that this is the only body I’m going to get. 

I stopped by my cousin’s (We never crossed paths) where the only visual on the tv screen was an image of Donald Trump, proceeded by my 11 year old cousin screaming to his dad (I assume my uncle? I’m sorry…my dad is 1/20) “There’s that crazy man! Look, Pa! The one i was talking about!” It made me realize that Pitbull (not the dog guys) was right ALL ALONG when he said “This is worldwide, dalé!” 

I too have gotten a glimpse of politics over here, passing by murals of art dissing politicians of their own blood over towns. One, I recall, having a mans name written then followed with messy handwriting with, in summary : “He doesn’t care about us poor folk, he never will, don’t feed into this lie made by his rich friends.” Just yesterday, there was a political rally across the street, I don’t know who it was for but I enjoyed lurking behind some luxurious bushes and soil that will make your toes never wish for treatment again aha. There was chanting, a lot of it, names especially. There were promises being made over the loudspeaker with folks smiling so wide it blinded little ol’ me, with poor vision already. 

Speaking of smiles, I visited an animal sanctuary (Is that the word?). Consider this a reminder that we need to take care of the Earth and our animals at all costs 🙂 . I was in the presence of crocodiles, monkeys, manatees (sad that I forgot these dudes existed) in the water, and more all while being free in a tiny remote island with a large body of sea. It was quite the informative boat ride around the whole place.  

In the past few days, I’ve been going through some kind of identity crisis. To Natives, it’s easy to spot that I’m not from around. Whispers behind my back, “She’s from the North, she’s got to be.” I’ve actually been called a Gringa but I laugh it off because one thing I’ve learned is that, Honduras people love to joke. Even to me, I can spot the tourists with no problem. I mean, they make it incredibly obvious. Going off topic, at the sanctuary, I ran into these tourist with their big cameras and luggage. However, I seem like a native to them. I stopped in front of one of them, her pale face hesitant with her voice and tone just to mutter “Hola!”. I responded with a “Hey!” which left her BEYOND SHOOK. I’m still laughing. 

I’m literally living in a place with roosters in the backyard, where the neighbors have horses as we have dogs and cats. I’m from a place where for Christmas, we smoke off fireworks that make car alarms go off. I’m from a place where nearly everyone knows how to ride a motorcycle. I’m from a place that tourists describe as heaven on Earth. I’m from a place where the natives describe hell in land form.  

L8r dudes ! 

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How am I supposed to Adult? 

 

I’ve been MIA for sometime now, I’m back. You see, I find it difficult to meet the blog deadlines since I simply cannot force the inspiration to write. Also, on this post I will be using “tags” to gain an audience so it’s hard to find something EVERYONE (anyone) can relate to.

So I have this fear, of becoming an adult. Can you imagine? Me, an adult. It gets worse when I imagine everyone I know as an adult too. I’m 14. I’m a baby. Yet somehow I crave feeling independent. Just the other day I learned how to use the self checkout at Stop & Shop and to be honest, I have never felt so proud of myself. I’m going to (legally) become an adult in less than 4 years. I met the halfway mark when I was still struggling with long division.

I am always asked where I see myself in the future but in reality, I can’t imagine myself with one. Of course I want one, I just haven’t found anything suited for me. Then again, I’m a baby. I ask myself at times if I will skeet away through life with this feeling. I will always have a future, a tomorrow, another minute even and it’s always going to be uncertain.

I tend to listen to music and dance whilst doing my makeup, today a podcast by one of the biggest influences on my life, and she was discussing how she saw a man and a child walking. The child was laughing and skipping, the man was stiff and steady strolling through the sidewalk. She was amazed to see that, that man, was once skipping and laughing the same way she was.

Another thing I think about, my story. Every chance that speeds by us, is gone. We will wait until the next one. For example, the friends that I have now, I can’t go back and change anything (not that I would). They have already been engraved into my storybook. The first time watching my favorite movie, I will never love it more than the first time. The first time I met my friends, I won’t feel that way with them again.

Granted, thinking about the people I know now in the future is scarier. These high school classmates will be different in 10 years. That goofball in math class, he becomes an accountant. Everyone will be so unrecognizable, wow. On the bright side, we can laugh at who we used to be (who we are now). We can also quake at ourselves being the people we said we will never become.

Live in the moment because you truly do live once.
L8r dudes !

Bone App the Teeth 

cooking tips from someone who can’t tell the difference between rice and beans.

#1: something I’ve had to go through 3 times – THE MOST IMPORTANT. when making ramen noodles, DO NOT forget to add water. your microwave CAN explode and your house will stink.

#2: mix milk and powder sugar. You’re welcome. You just made the frosting otherwise known as “glaze” .

#3: WASH YOUR FRUIT. my siblings still struggle with this I don’t know how. How do you do that? 

#4: Just because the “due date” has passed doesn’t mean that it’s time to throw it out! That’s kinda like wasting food. Most of the time, that date is just the time they need to leave the store/ restock, or it’s just freshest during that time. 

#5: My mom made soup the other day and she made rice with some little shreds of onions to give it some flavor. I have a thing to not eat soup during sunny days, somehow, I took the onions out and made rice pudding for the first time. Sure, I added enough sugar to have heart problems but I was super proud. My parents were too until they found out I used already cooked rice. 😡 

#6: Eating leftovers are 100% okay! I don’t like eating leftovers unless they’re Chinese food. I find leftovers weird, sorry American culture. Ironically my sister, loves saving her food. We once went out of burgers three years ago and she didn’t eat the entire meal, she left it in the fridge for like 3 days. How, I don’t know.

#7: CEREAL BEFORE MILK. Don’t waste milk! By putting cereal in the bowl or cup (i sometimes eat cereal in the cup) first, you get an idea of how much milk you need! 

#8: not a tip, just a reminder. STAY HYDRATED: HOMIES, I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. DRINK WATER. I find drinking water a pleasure since I dislike coffee (blah!) and tea! HOLY cow, water changes everything. You will always see me with a water bottle in my bag. I drink about 10 bottles a day and that’s just in the fall. Also, you can cash in your cans & bottles for 5 cents! You probably know all the benefits So I’ll move on. 

That’s all I have for now, because I simply can’t cook! Here’s the dish, bone app the teeth! 

L8r Dudes! 

IG: @partimezaddy 

Tumblr : haha the same thing! 

Candy corn for the spooky soul. 

A life update. 


I have had a serious case of writer’s block. It only got worse. Then, I started losing my mind, forgetting things, just brain farts 24/7. So I’ve decided to write about how life has been treating me these past few weeks. 

What better than a hectic update on my life! 

 

 1: I’m getting the hang of Japanese! I’m not as fluent as my other classmates but the progress is there! 

 2: I haven’t worn my retainer in a week and they felt small so I searched on an online forum to see what that meant : if I don’t start using it more, no matter the consequence, I’ll need braces (again). I’m back on track now. 

3: I began using SoundCloud more, a new obsession, expanding my musical tastes despite me only listening to like 10 songs every day. 

4: I reconnected with some old friends and it’s been great.

5: OCTOBER HAS BEGAN! This month always gets me excited because of my family’s religious background, one I chose not to follow for my future. Ah, Halloween. Even though I’m not allowed to dress up or do anything, I love it. I did celebrate once though. I was a black cat, my younger sister was a clown (laugh away in the irony of the most recent events), and my younger brother who was 3 at the time, was a cop. 

6: I got scammed off of tumblr. I ordered some stuff of a girl’s art (teenage like myself) shop. It never came:(. I messaged her about it and guess what? SHE WENT OFF THE GRID. Long story, made it short. Funny to laugh at me. Still waiting for stickers to come. Thanks.

7: I’ve been a little defeated lately. Longer story. Disappointed in some close friends

6 UPDATE: 10/15: CLARE IS BACK ON TUMBLR AND SHE SEND SHE HAS BEEN BUSY, SHE WILL SEND THEM ASAP.

8: I finished season 5 of new girl (picture above from season 2 Halloween ep.) and im SHOOK. Also, American horror story season 5 is on Netflix, haven’t had time to watch:(. But, I did catch on cable when it aired:). 

9: I WENT THROUGH MY OLD YEARBOOK AND REALIZED HOW EMO I WAS AND HOW EMO-er I AM NOW. HAHAHAH.
10: New friends! I’ve come to make some new friends! They’re great but we’re greater together. 

11: I just bought my plane tickets to go to Honduras for winter break (YOU, reader, can definitely expect blogging more often when I’m there) 

12: who knows! Im out here! 

Okay, this is kinda fast paced but I’m just so excited for what tomorrow brings! 
AHHH! 
until next time, 
L8r dudes. 

the pretty side of having a mental illness


(There is no pretty side) 

This post is about how media and people in real life glamorize mental illness as some kind of “aesthetic”. The truth of the matter is : This shouldn’t be going on, no aspect of being mentally ill is pretty. 

I’ve seen on tumblr so many times pictures of people who have slit wrists and forearms with a hashtags underneath the so called art proclaiming it as,  under it “#cool” “#aesthetic”. This whole “hHella rad, hHella sad” mindset is hella aesthetic & hella pathetic. Social anxiety is another big one. It’s super cool! The way you are “quirky” and “weird” and “tasteful” to be socially awkward, to not want to talk to anyone. It’s the “honeymoon” phase until you can’t leave your house with the fear of having to strike up a conversation. The mental breakdown you have for even 5 seconds when someone calls your name.

There is such a fine line between these things and sadly  unfortunately, many people don’t know the difference. Who knows, maybe they don’t know what they’re doing. I get it. I’m “weird”. I’m “crazy” and a “fool” but that’s not a mental illness. I act like this because I have so much confidence and awareness of myself that I don’t care about being seen as foolish or idiotic because I’m having fun.
At this point, what’s the point of having the word sad, if you are feeling “depressed” for an hour or day? Depression is for a period of time, longer than some show marathon going on leading to the grand finale, longer than school hours, I hate how people limit their vocabulary using the opposite of ideal word choice. What’s the point of using the word clean or neat to describe a person who likes a clean car, but now has “OCD”? You aren’t bipolar because your feelings change. Eating disorders aren’t glamorous.   That’s not depression, the epidemic of self diagnosis is wrong. That’s not OCD, the epidemic of self diagnosis isn’t good for your health. People will get so wrapped into “curing” themselves from a disease all because they have ONE of the symptoms. I would say that all of these things are normal, things change, people change, you get sad, you like to be orderly, don’t proclaim something that is not yours like some prize. 

Mental illnesses are not hashtags. They are not black and white photos of scarred wrists or sad quotes about loneliness. People die from these diseases each day and yet kids like you and I sit behind their device and glorify them for the purpose of “aesthetic”. I’m tired of seeing Tumblr blogs and tweets about these illnesses making them look attractive. Mental illness shouldn’t be a some kind of sick fetish.

However, if you decide to speak out on your mental illness, this is worth a celebration. Im not talking about the real people who are so brave who choose to speak about it on whatever platform possible. This is for the people that are fake, those who a romantizing these mental illnesses.  For the people behind the screens, you need love and excitement more than reblogs and likes. This is kind of jumpy but that’s because I just wrote all of this, like in half an hour.
So, Part 2 soon!

* I do not have a mental illness, this rant was brought to you by the stirred words the internet gave me after being online for 30 minutes

L8r dudes 🙂

table for one, please.  

I’ve been in High School for about a month now. I’ve come to realize, that I, more than ever, am on my own. The people who have been such a major part of my life, are rarely there, not by choice. I wish I was there during the big moments, but I can’t. 

As this progresses, I’ve come to notice that all I need…is me. I wake up at 5 AM by myself. I do my makeup & I get dressed by myself. I eat by myself. These are things I’ve never really stated, it’s just obvious. I walk into school alone. I’m alone. 

 I’m a positive person, I will never have a frown on my face, quite the opposite actually. It wasn’t until I acknowledged what I do, that I found out something most people won’t figure out their entire lives. Being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. I sleep by myself! I beat my face & mix match my clothes, by myself! I can totally eat alone! I make myself happy! 

Sometimes, I find myself surrounded by a majority of people but I am still uninspired or uninterested. Other times, I will find myself and just one other person having more fun than if I was with 100 more people. I call them my close friends.

In the past, i found myself feeling “lonely” simply because I was alone. Now, i love every chance I get to be with myself. I have this freedom and adoration for me that no one else can really take. I don’t have much time for what I used to do : to busy evolving. Is receiving attention a good thing? Sure! Will I ever beg for it? No! 

In the future, I will live like I have always, alone, with myself. I feel as though older me will be more exciting since I will have more freedom and opportunities to cease. I am satisfied. That’s all I need for now. 
That’s all for today, 

L8r dudes.

gender rolls & sexist trolls

9:00 – a messy rant @ night 

Gender roles have really defined the world we live In today. We continue to say that “It’s 2016, the world is changing” but has/is it really?

Thousands of years ago, whatever ancient civilization you decide to pick, you can see where this culprit lies. There will be the hard working, macho, man who is supposed to protect and take care of everything. Then, you will have the woman, “happy”, “hearty” housewife that spends her days pleasing her family and the community by showing that she is great at what she does, follow orders. 

Remember that movie that played in the theaters for weeks? Remember that tv show, the one that went on for 8 years? How about the album that was on top for months? Believe it or not, these memorable parts of our childhood showed how easy it was to manipulate us. I recall watching many episodes of men, angry, that their girl friends or wives making more money. Maybe I’ve seen episodes of different shows with this same synopsis. It’s not just work wise.

All my life, I have been fed these toxic thoughts. I feel like, in reality, clothing has no gender. At the end of the day, you have clothes. We must be grateful for what we have, no matter how we are perceived by others. For spirit week’s throwback Thursday there was a guy wearing a crop top. Yet, people continue to ridicule others. They called him “gay” and I’m guessing other derogatory terms. First, gay people can wear anything. Yes, some gay people enjoy wearing the “stereotypical” gay person clothes. How gay men are “SUPPOSED” to appear feminine. How lesbians are “SUPPOSED” to appear more butch, masculine looking. Again, I recall tv shows or movies, supporting this bullying. Gay, straight, whatever, clothes is clothes. CLOTHES is CLOTHES . If you prefer being identified as a boy, go ahead, wear whatever you want. The people wearing these clothes probably don’t even care, they’re just out here, living. 
This is no different than 10 years ago. Change? Nope. Kinda, people are more open and care free which is amazing! Am I hopeful, do I still believe there will be a change? Yes. 

More to come. 

Until next time,

L8r dudes 🙂 
love you,  sappy cam!